Picture it: You’re alone in a coffee shop, mindlessly scanning the newspaper. Credit... Gracia Lam. A women, some times may feel sexual advances when talking to men. You're essentially held hostage for hours and it's not fair to people who just want to read their book. Or you’re on a flight, wishing away the countless hours between you and your destination. If your antenna is up and you are perceiving red flags of any kind, do not engage. In these very different scenarios, one common choice likely exists: Do you take a social risk, daring to smile at or talk to a nearby stranger? [i] Sandstrom, Gillian M., and Elizabeth W. Dunn. He discovered what he termed an “ anti-social paradox ”, where people consistently underestimated how … (NIU), I picked up Talking to Strangers in anticipation of another thought-provoking treatise for generalists from this widely acclaimed thinker. Or one may not like the conversation. On average, participants who followed this instruction felt better than those who had been told to stand or sit in silence. Its results show that strangers resembling past individuals known to be trustworthy are trusted more; by contrast, those similar to others known to be untrustworthy are trusted less. See more ideas about Talk to strangers, Psychology, Stranger. One study queried train commuters; a second, bus commuters. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Synopsis: “Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Revisionist History and author of the number-one New York Times best seller Outliers, reinvents the audiobook in this immersive production of Talking to Strangers, a powerful examination of our interactions with people we don’t know. We need to talk to them. In one series of studies, researchers instructed Chicago-area commuters using public transportation to strike up a conversation with someone near them on their respective buses or trains. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Why are so many people drawn to conspiracy theories in times of crisis? How Sexual Thoughts Build Emotional Connections Between Strangers "I Am in Love with Trains" Talk Dirty To Me: The Psychology of Dirty Talk . Our trust in strangers is dependent on their resemblance to others we’ve previously known, finds a new study by a team of psychology researchers. However, we also know that other people are our greatest source of happiness, so there’s a huge potential gain to be realized by pushing beyond our comfort zones and taking that social risk. They recruited subjects to try on their theory while placing an order at a Starbucks store in a busy urban area on a weekend afternoon. Despite the priority of efficiency over sociability, treating a financial transaction like a social interaction does not necessarily take any extra time. Talking to a stranger may be surprisingly pleasant, but being talked to by a stranger could be predictably miserable, meaning that the overall positivity of a train, plane, cab, or waiting room of talkers could be no higher than one full of loners. In five different studies, researchers essentially told introverted participants to “act extraverted,” being more outgoing and talkative than usual. : Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect.” Social Psychological and Personality Science 5, no. Mar 9, 2015 - http://msconfuddled.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/psychology-of-talking-to-complete.html. Ted Bundy, Casey Anthony, and Jodi Arias talked to strangers. We tend to think that close others—friends, romantic partners, and family members—are our biggest sources of connection, laughter, and warmth. Whilst some might frame this in a negative way, it gives us the opportunity to understand new perspectives, and to learn about different experiences and ideas. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550613502990. Because happiness is priceless, why not share the wealth? [i] Recognizing the frequency with which we interact with others through “instrumental exchanges,” such as when we buy coffee from a barista, they proposed we might benefit emotionally from treating service providers as acquaintances, turning impersonal exchanges into authentic social interactions. The surprising benefits of talking to strangers. Strike up a conversation with your seatmate. Little did I realize that nearly one-third of this volume is devoted to major US counterintelligence and counterterrorism cases. It is comforting when a friendly face asks if you want your “usual” when you walk in. Chances are, you're overestimating the potential awkwardness and dismissing the potential feelings of happiness and connection these small encounters will provide. We can smile and make eye contact while we talk, prefacing our order with a friendly greeting. So what is the psychology of climate change? Talking to Strangers studies miscommunication, interactions and assumptions people make when dealing with those that they don't know. You actually hear the contentious arrest of Sandra Bland by the side of the road in Texas. Sandstrom and Dunn were inspired to explore this area of interpersonal interaction in part due to previous research demonstrating the emotional significance of interacting with strangers. “Talking to Strangers,” he says, ... Really. In contrast, study participants in the “efficient” condition were instructed to avoid any unnecessary conversation, be ready to pay, and prioritize the efficiency of their interaction. In the audiobook version of Talking to Strangers, you'll hear the voices of people he interviewed--scientists, criminologists, military psychologists. Is It Me, or Are Strangers Acting Friendlier Than Usual? Or maybe you’re trying out a new group exercise class at the gym, or a new course at your university. For most of us, a typical day involves spending time with family and friends, and also with strangers. The researchers also argued that when we shy away from casual interactions with strangers, it is often due to a misplaced anxiety that they might not want to talk to us. Never Trust a Blood Relative Talking to Strangers is an elaboration of a simple (trivial?) Why You Should Talk to Strangers Surprising research reveals the benefits of striking up a conversation. 1 Few would forgo the potential pleasure of connecting with a friend, but most seem readily inclined to ignore a stranger. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. As William Butler Yeats said, "There are no strangers here, only friends you haven't yet met.". According to a study by Dr. Elizabeth Dunn, a professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia, talking to strangers makes people feel more cheerful, behave more pleasantly, and believe they belong in a community. Share on Facebook Share on Linkedin. Those enemies turned out to be male strangers and animals. Gillian M. Sandstrom and Elizabeth W. Dunn (2014) investigated the emotional benefit of superficial social interactions. First of all, as a career prosecutor, I will start by stating the obvious: Not all strangers are safe. Psychology. Talking to strangers also means that there’s always a chance of meeting someone who thinks differently from us. Much of the time, however, this belief is false. The Benefits of Talking to Strangers. Why We Need All the Acquaintances We Can Get, Why Other People Are the Key to Our Happiness, In an Economic Crisis, How Time is More Valuable Than Money. They found that simply spending the time interacting socially with a Starbucks barista increased a sense of belonging and increased positive affect. This blog is about creating scientific articles relative to e.g. Gladwell is both a sucker for and a master of this kind of obfuscation. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know. Posted Apr 21, 2016 Men will make sexual innuendos, etc. Talk To Strangers Online here, How to Make Yourself Happy by the Way You Treat Others, 5 Myths About Introverts and Extraverts at Work. It appears that although individuals may be reluctant to engage in genuine social interactions with strangers, they experience a higher degree of happiness when they treat a stranger as if they were a weak social tie. According to Timothy Levine, the academic psychologist on whom Gladwell relies for his basic argument, the presumption that people tell the truth is almost universal, a few Holy Fools (and, I suppose, Judge Judy) excepted. As a psychologist, I am seeing how this prolonged unnatural situation negatively affects … Court transcripts are brought to life with re-enactments. And please, for god's sake don't start conversations with people on a plane. either as a teacher, creative writer or a psychologist. It’s a must-read for salespeople of all verticals, and we’ve got a complete summary here. Second, all participants in our experiments were, by scientific necessity, told to behave one way or another. Yet if that is our mindset, we may be missing out. The Psychology of Selling is a well-regarded book by legendary sales professional Brian Tracy. Couldn't agree more. If you are on a first-name basis with the server at the local sandwich shop or coffee cart, you know what I mean. We’ve Got Depression All Wrong. They suggest that transforming impersonal exchanges into social interactions are opportunities to boost happiness that would otherwise be missed in our quest for efficiency. They're told life stories, subjected to weird political and religious screeds. I have friends and family and I'm not lonely in life. strangers on a bus) and then further up the chain to our representa- tives and politicians, all sha ping our predisposition to act or not. Gillian M. Sandstrom and Elizabeth W. Dunn. Why Fans of Horror Movies May Be More Resilient, Designed to Be Kind: Why We Are More Social Than Selfish. How we react to strangers is actually the subject of several interesting theories about human origins, childhood psychological development, and … These quick informational conversations are often viewed as exactly that: simple data exchanges. 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